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Defining Moments by Dorothea S. McArthur

 

TABLE OF CONTENTS

 

FOREWORD

ix

INTRODUCTION

1

 

I. DEFINING MOMENTS

 

 

FROM ANIMALS AND PLANTS

 

1.

If You Are Hit, You Don’t Have to Fall

7

2.

Two Dirty Ducks

10

3.

Brown Leaves and Cactus Bulbs

16

 

II. DEFINING MOMENTS IN TAKING CARE OF

 

 

YOUR SELF

 

4.

“To Be or Not to Be … That is the Question,” or

 

 

“To Thine Own Self Be True”

21

5.

Who Do We Need to Please Anyway?

26

6.

Building an Introject

28

7.

Please Let Me Sleep

32

8.

Don’t Put Your Best Friends to Sleep

36

9.

I Hate My Feelings … They Make Me Lose It

43

10.

An Anxiety Attack Is Not an Attack

47

11.

Integrating Lost Parts of Self

50

12.

Fighting Depression the Natural Way

55

13.

I Didn’t Know I Was an Adult Child of

 

 

an Alcoholic (ACA)

59

14.

The More You Help Yourself, the More Help

 

 

You Will Get

62

15.

Try to Decipher a White Snow TV Screen or

 

 

Decide for Yourself

66

16.

So Many Ways to Communicate

70

17.

Four Kinds of Work Personality; Which Are You?

74

18.

Life’s Two Most Important and Privileged Questions

78

19.

Three Most Important Questions for Your

 

 

Significant Others

83

20.

Our Most Powerful Elixir

86

21.

In Memoriam

89

22.

A New Way for the Elderly to Grieve

94

23.

Warning: Suicide Is First-Degree Murder

99

24.

Finding the Right Psychotherapist

101

25.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for a Reduced Fee

104

 

III. DEFINING MOMENTS WITH

 

 

FURRY ASSOCIATES

 

26.

How Dogs and Cats Assisted Me in the Psychotherapy

 

 

Process Within a Home Private Practice

109

27.

Enter Dogs

117

28.

New Cats Become Associates

121

29.

New Dogs Sign On

124

 

IV. DEFINING MOMENTS WITH

 

 

HANDLING LIFE

 

30.

When Greed Takes Away Your Job

133

31.

On Birth and War

139

32.

When Someone Hurts You … Finding Your Way to

 

 

Forgiveness

142

33.

A Crisis is Always an Opportunity

146

34.

The Backside of an Affair

149

35.

It Ain’t Changed Since the Cave Man Days

155

36.

Protecting Sexual Abuse Victims from Further Trauma

 

 

by Extended Family

160

37.

To Punish or Help, That Is the Question

166

38.

Three Kinds of Romantic Attraction

171

39.

What Makes Romantic Love Last Anyway?

174

40.

What Good Friends Can Do but Often Don’t

177

41.

Artists and Society

181

42.

There is a Quiet Way to Be of Service to Others

188

43.

Whatever Happened to Right and Wrong?

190

44.

What’s Happening on My Street?

194

45.

Dear CEO

197

46.

A Middleperson Between Low Income and

 

 

the Wealthy

200

47.

It Is Time to Give Artists a Chance to Change

 

 

the World

204

48.

A Plan to Return a Sense of Community, Purpose

 

 

and Meaning to Sixteen Million Unemployed

210

49.

I Wonder What Would Happen If …

214

50.

As a Psychotherapist, I Wish …

216

 

V. DEFINING MOMENTS FOR CHILDREN

 

51.

Anxiety Helps

221

52.

Overloaded Report Card Children

224

53.

Defeating Bullies Without Getting into Trouble

227

54.

How to Help More Difficult Children

232

55.

Understanding Adoptee’s Loss of Family

237

56.

When “I Love You” Means “Please Go Away”

239

57.

Adoptee Contradiction

243

58.

A Letter of Tribute to Parents of  Special Needs

 

 

Children

248

 

VI. MORE DEFINING MOMENTS

 

 

WITH NATURE

 

59.

Resolve and Staying Power

257

60.

Becoming Well

260

61.

Depletion Blooms

262

 

VII. CLIENTS SPEAK OUT

 

62.

Thirteen Wishes to Rebuild a Nation From

 

 

the Clients of a Psychotherapy Practice

269

 

VII. CONCLUSION

 

63.

Japan on March 11, 2011

299

64.

When Pain From the Past Becomes a Strength

303

65.

So How Do All These Thoughts Add Up Anyway?

305

66.

My Personal “Making a Difference”

309

BIBLIOGRAPHY

311

INDEX

314

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

322

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

323

 
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